Sick and tired of the same old people you come across on dating apps? If you’re exhausted by conversations that lead to pen pals or feel like you would have better luck finding your person in person, use these 4 steps to attract new people into your life.
Dating apps were all the rage for some time – it was almost unheard of to meet people organically. The dating app trend is changing which can be exciting but intimidating at the same time. If dating apps become less popular, how are we supposed to meet new people or prospective partners then?
Try new places:
Everyone loves having a neighborhood spot that you feel comfortable going to. Whether it is because of great drink specials, or the proximity to your house, it can become routine to stay in your comfort zone.
The next time you make plans, go somewhere you have never been before. We know how uncomfortable it can be, but when you stick to your comfort zone, certain subconscious social cues can be given off that deter new people from coming up to you.
Chatting with the bartender, sitting on your phone, lounging like it is your second home, and talking to other neighborly patrons can be perceived as you already have what you need in your space, and you are not looking for others to throw off your routine.
With a new place comes a new sense of intrigue. Make sure you remain present in the moment, uncross your arms and do not put your bag on the only empty seat next to you.
Match the qualities you are hoping to find in a person with the place you go to meet them:
If you feel like you have aged out of the late-night scene, keep that in-mind when choosing where you go to meet people. If your motto is bed by 10p on a weeknight, finding a partner that values the same would be great, right? In that case, happy hour locations are the perfect starting point. Put yourself in the shoes of the person you are hoping to meet. When looking for happy hour you’ll want to find drink specials, and locations that attract a like minded person.
If you’re hoping to meet someone that shares your passions and values, we highly recommend philanthropic events, cultural institutions such as museums, or creative outlets like art galleries and intimate live music shows. With the ability to connect over a shared passion, you are one step ahead in navigating how to approach someone.
Tip: google the best nonprofits in your area, black-tie events, casual events, whatever is YOUR thing.
If you love and live an active lifestyle, finding that in a partner is key. Sign up for a running group in your community, a soul-cycle or Barry’s bootcamp class, a pickleball league or join your local gym. As awkward as it may seem when you think of meeting someone at fitness studio, you are already sharing an active lifestyle in common… and odds are, they are sick of trying to meet someone through a phone screen, too!
We’ll be honest, we have monochromatic outfits and modern aesthetics pinned on our Pinterest boards, too. But when it comes to appearing approachable, experts say, color matters. When you wear something bright, you attract attention. We don’t mean you need to wear a bright pink blouse, or yellow pants, but pops of color can be added in a variety of ways. Whether it’s how you choose to accessorize, with a purse or shoes, or the jewelry you choose to wear, color lessens intimidation and invites conversation. This doesn’t apply to women, only, either! I was having brunch at a crowded restaurant with my girlfriends in New York City, and I kept eyeing this handsome guy in a pink polo among a group of guys all in black and tan. He caught my eye the second he walked in and he stood out far more than the other guys in the restaurant.
When it comes to getting out of your comfort zone, it is important to BE BRAVE. You miss 100% of the shots you don’t take. Remember the man I mentioned at the restaurant I was having brunch? Well, I walked up to him and introduced myself. I didn’t have a grand speech prepared, and I had walked up to many men in the past that didn’t amount to anything, but I knew I had nothing to lose. 10 years later, we’re married with two children, and I owe it all to color and being brave.
Being brave isn’t easy, you have to allow yourself to be vulnerable. But confidence is important for success in life. Confidence gives you the skills and coping methods to handle setbacks and overcome fear and in turn provides numerous benefits.
While app dating may not actually be dead, people are becoming numb and discouraged by the app dating culture. It is important to learn new ways to attract the right type of people in your life. These steps may take you out of your comfort zone at first, they will help you build confidence, be brave, and find the quality person you are looking for.